My writing assistant is not always helpful…

Because he’s of the furry variety.

My miniature schnauzer Scooch is my middle child. He just is. We got him as a puppy when we moved into our new home and I stepped away from my first career to be a full-time parent. He is my dog because I was home with him all the time. He has strong bonds with each member of the family, but he follows me around the most. He suffered through the loss of space in my lap when I was pregnant with my second child and learned to adore and snuggle with the baby, accepting his place as middle child.

Once I started writing Scooch decided he was also my writing assistant. Of course I must need his presence and help. Silly human for thinking otherwise.

Scooch began his new job by snoring on the nearby guest bed as I typed in the upstairs study at the desk, but once COVID kept the kids at home part-time for remote learning, I needed to be closer to assist them. Now most days I write in the living room in my comfy dark red chair with my legs stretched out on the long ottoman. Or I’m in the family room on the recliner of our brown leather sectional. This makes it convenient to also teach a little math and English-language arts to my youngest when he gets stuck. My canine writing assistant loves this location change because now he gets the use of my shins and feet to sleep on while I type on my lapdesk. Scooch is very put out if I have to get up to get his siblings from school or run errands or do chores or sit side-by-side with the youngest to complete an online activity together.

Scooch could snore on me all day, not caring at all that I can no longer feel my feet or that my ankle is aching from the weight of his bearded head. I could make him happy and type all day, but… life and stuff. Scooch does not fully understand why I don’t give into this more efficient use of our time and we argue about it at least once a week. Don’t worry, we are a team so we always reconcile and find a way to move forward.

Occasionally Scooch decides that he has a great idea for my next paragraph and attempts to lay his paws right on my keyboard to type out his fantastic addition to my book. If I do not like his idea and delete it, he proceeds to put his entire head on my hands and the keys until I rub him in apology. Do not disrespect my genius, human.

I might have to fire my writing assistant if this continues.

But he’s so darn cute I probably never will.